What is IUI?

I thought about doing this post after my IUI(intra-uterine insemination)but I wasn't sure if anyone would really be interested. Well, yesterday I asked and actually, a lot of people asked me to do a post because they didn't know very much about it! 

So here it is!

But before I get into the gritty details I want to put a little disclaimer out there: This is not how everyone's process is...every woman is different and different circumstances calls for different treatments. So if you talk to another woman about her IUI...her process might be different and that is ok :)

OK! If you are squeamish..you may not want to read any further.

The start of a woman's cycle is the first day of her period. So since I started my period yesterday..today is cycle day 2 for me. On cycle day 3(tomorrow) I have an ultrasound to check and make sure there aren't any follicles left over in my ovaries. Follicles are the sacks that eggs are stored in in the ovaries until ovulation when the follicle will release the egg into the fallopian tubes to be fertilized. They like for my ovaries to be clear of left over follicles before they start the new IUI process. Honestly, I don't know why they want it clear....Im assuming because they like to have a clean slate. 

So after my ultrasound of my ovaries, assuming everything is clear, I will start my fertility medication called Clomid. Some women use Femara or even other medications to make them ovulate but my doctor likes Clomid for me. 

I will take Clomid cycle days 3-7 of 150mg. This will cause my new follicles to grow and hopefully ovulation will take place. They monitor this very closely because they need to do the IUI at the exact time of ovulation to make sure the sperm meets the egg at the right time. 

On cycle day 12 I will go in and they will do another ultrasound to check the size of the follicles. They like to see at least one follicle at a size 20mm. Last time I had to come back on cycle day 15 because on cycle day 12 my follicles were not quite mature(big enough) yet. Once they have one follicle at at least 20mm then they will tell me when to do my HCG injection. Last cycle Wesley gave me my injection on cycle day 16. This will make my body ovulate within 34-36 hours. Then I come in within a certain time frame and have the actual IUI. 

This is where is gets fun...NOT! It's completely painless but it's just...uhmm...not exactly an intimate way to get pregnant..lol 

My nurse is the one that actually does the procedure since it is relatively simple. But she takes a syringe filled with sperm that has been washed and places it up through the cervix and next to the fallopian tube that the egg will be "traveling" in. That simple. Then she will place a plastic bag next to my cervix so that if any sperm decide to swim down, once they reach the cervical opening, they will be blocked and swim back up. I remove this myself later in the day.

And that is basically the entire IUI procedure. 

If you don't already know, IUI is our best bet right now because the Clomid actually kills my cervical fluid which is what carries the sperm up toward the egg. It would be like trying to do a slip-n-slide but on concrete instead of lubricated plastic. Double-edged sword if you will...

The IUI bypasses where the cervical fluid would carry the sperm and deposits it exactly where it needs to be in order to meet the egg at the right time.

Round #2...AND GOOO!!!!

I have inserted a video to show you the IUI. Sorry its so "High school health class". But it describes the process very well :)

Story of my life....

Well, there's no easy way to say this..but today was cycle day 1 :( That means that our first IUI was unsuccessful. This is probably the hardest it has ever been to see that negative pregnancy test and to have my cycle start again. Probably because I really invested a lot of emotion and excitement into the IUI procedure. But I did my crying and I moped all day...so I'm trying to pick up the pieces and get back to my positive self. Not only for the next IUI but also for Wesley. This day hasn't been easy on him either.
So I called Dr Vandermolen and I have an appointment Thursday to come in and check to make sure there are no left over cysts. Then it's on to IUI number 2!
I know that this is all in God's plan and in His timing. It's just hard to see the plan right now.
So for tonight...I will have my glass of wine and keep praying.

On a side note...would anyone like any information on IUI? Should I do a post on the process and procedure of an IUI? Leave a comment if you would like me to do that :)

Portrait of a Mother

I have watched this video more times than I can count. It is a perfect portrayal of what a "mother" is. Whether you are trying to conceive, have lost a pregnancy early on, delivered a stillborn, have had to say goodbye to your child too young, or whether you have become a mother by marriage or adoption...you are a mother. 

1 week post IUI

Today was 1 week post IUI so I went in this morning to get my progesterone levels checked. Without a good progesterone level, my body wouldn't be able to keep a pregnancy. My doctor likes it to be over 15 but the higher, the better. Well I just got a call from the doctors office and my progesterone level was at 15.9...so high enough to keep a pregnancy but I still wish it was higher :/ So now we wait to see if we are actually pregnant!!! I'm starting to think this "Hurry Up and Wait" title was a good fit haha Soooo much waiting....and so much blood work lol oh well! Happy thoughts and baby dust! :)

IUI day!! FINALLY!

This morning at approximately 10:30 Wesley and I were sitting in Dr Vandermolen's office having our IUI done!!! Ahhh!! We feel very good about how it went :) There were plenty of Wesley's little soldiers,  the procedure went off without a hitch, and I was able to relax afterwords. I cannot explain to you how excited we are and how relieved we are to be able to be at this point. We know that this isn't guaranteed and that it may not work and we dont become pregnant...but we are hopeful!!! It will still be a while before we find out if this worked...ughh the anticipation is killing me!! Haha keep the prayers coming!!! There is nothing like the power of prayer!

Cycle day 15 check up!!

Ok so yesterday I had another ultrasound to check up on the growth of the follicles. She started on my right ovary where I previously had about 4 good sized follicles. Well they were all small this time!!! I was getting pretty bummed and Wesley said he could see that I was starting to get upset. Then she goes to the left ovary and there was one massive follicle!! Yeyyy!!! So Wesley has to give me my hcg injection tonight and we go in for our IUI on Monday morning!!! We are beyond ready and super excited! Prayers that this first round works would be greatly appreciated!!!!! :)

What NOT to say..

All day long I get texts, FB messages, and phone calls saying pretty much the same thing: "I don't know what to say"...or even worse...they say something that upsets me. "Just relax!", "You're still young", "I didn't even have to try!", "It will happen!"...and sooo much more! It basically boils down to the fact that they can't relate to my situation and it doesn't really occur to them that they could be saying something that offends or upsets me.
There is no "relaxing" when struggling with infertility. Infertility is a disease. Would you tell someone with cancer or an amputated leg to "just relax" and they will be healed? Of course not! Those may not be the best analogies but, whatever..you get my point.
Yes, I'm young, but I may not be by the time we actually conceive. Some women struggle for many many years before they get pregnant. If at all.
Glad you didn't have to try??? Gloating about it pisses me off. I don't think I need to elaborate any more than that.
It may never happen...that is the reality of infertility and something we have to cope with on a daily basis.  

I came across a post on pinterest a while back about what NOT to say to someone struggling to conceive. So I'm posting it here in hopes that it may shine a light on this issue.

This site only touches on the things that could potentially upset someone struggling with infertility. 

A big issue(at least for me)..is the offer to carry a child FOR me. I have had numerous offers and each time I politely explain that it wont be necessary. 

This upsets me because they assume that I can't carry a baby. That is not my issue. My issue is the actual ovulation and conception. My uterus is in great shape and wont have an issue carrying a child(God willing). 

So while I am flattered that many of my friends and family are willing to carry a child for me, it is very hurtful. If carrying a child was our issue, we wouldn't have been going through all of these fertility treatments to get pregnant. But..I guess it's my fault for not explaining our situation fully. That is another main reason why I started this blog. People are ignorant about my infertility and infertility in general. Even though 1 in 10 women will struggle with infertility in their lifetime. 

Changing my blog name??

Soooo...apparently there is a ton of blogs out there that have similar names to mine. Im thinking about changing the name of my blog. What should I name it? Ive thought about "Hurry up and wait"..goes with infertility and the Air Force haha :) What do you guys think? What should I name this life journey??

Cycle day 12 ultrasound

Today was cycle day 12 so that meant blood work and ultrasound to check my follicles. I was hopeful that there would be some mature ones so that I could do my hcg injection and get the party started! But there wasn't :( There were quite a few follicles and some were a good size but none mature enough to do the IUI yet. So now I have to wait to get my blood work results back this afternoon and schedule another ultrasound in a couple days to see the progression. Needless to say...I'm pretty disappointed.... Deep breaths...